Congratulations to the Boston Celtics for winning their 17th championship ring. Congratulations guys! You deserve…
What? They won the championship two weeks ago? Really?
The latest NBA draft was televised a few days ago…
Is multiple personality part of your life?
Who am I talking to right now?
I am Makisig Manileno, the Philippines’ bet to the annual Universal Bodybuilding competition.
Is there a puzzle here that needs to be deciphered? Is this Dabintsi all of a sudden?
I’m gonna stop na…
I should’ve been writing something about the book Quit Bugging Me. Apparently it’s not here with me right now so I’ll talk about another book. The title is The Areas of my Expertise.
If you’re a fan of that another late night show host (No, it’s not Letterman, Leno, or O’brien. The other one), you could’ve stumbled with a this person, John K. Hodgman (He should’ve had the pseudonym J.K. Hodgman ala J.K. Rowling since he’s a comedian but there’s no sense in that so can I please continue?).
Before the Hodgman, if you’ve heard Kingdom of Loathing (it is an online game. A very funny online game.) you should at least know the book. You see, they created a new area in the game. It is called Hobopolis. Now, Hobopolis is a clan dungeon (much like Wow’s instance / raid party). Regarding Hobopolis, the enemies here are all related to hoboes (and no, when I say hobo it’s not the local meaning. They are not naked.). There are 700 hobo names (plus an additional 100 which I really don’t know why they have the additional though) and I’m not sure if these hoboes are spells, friends, lovers or whatnots.
Now, Jick (the owner of Kingdom of Loathing or KOL for short) verified that the Hobo names were from the book of Hodgman, with his permission of course. Hobo names include Telekenetic Dave, Unpronounceable, The Goose, Not the Goose, and Jonas Tugboy, Professional Mastubator (as in OMG, Hodgman used this word more than the sex life of Rustom and Carmina).
Moving on with the book, the book is purely fiction but the way he tells little tidbits of everything, you might as well believe it.
Okay, in summary, the book is an almanac of useful things that you can use everyday.
Here’re some excerpts.
Under the part for “Were you aware of it?” Sixteenth-century anatomist Gabriel Fallopius, discoverer of the fallopian tube, also coined the terms palate, placenta, cochlea, and vagina – but only after his original suggestions (fallopalate, fallopenta, falloplea, and fallopagina) were rejected?
Under “History’s Worst Men’s Haircuts” The Sink Cut (1900’s – 1930’s), North America. This quick and thrifty cut involved putting your child’s head in a sink and cutting around the edge. The sink caught the blood handily. During the Depression, when many families did not have sinks, a dirt hole would be substituted, or a natural cave.
And much much more. Even Nick Nolte was mentioned as a hobo twice (but I have yet to verify that).
Lastly, the first few pages were also written on the spine for no unknown reason. Meaning, you’re going to read the same set of paragraphs twice.
Isn’t it great?
I was thinking of professions that can survive an MRT aftermath. What is an MRT aftermath? It is a great phenomenon where Homo sapiens form inside a contraption while surviving the holocaust of pain or simply MRT rides during rush hours. I’ll try to compile my top ten (yes, this is one of your usual top ten. So, if you’ll just say, “Hey, we are so sick and tired of top tens. Give us something else you bi-atch.”. I don’t think it is a good idea for you, reader, to read on. Open your television, watch Kuya Germs’ sex video à awww).
Now, the top ten in no particular order or numbered but not in order:
Part of the train management – I believe this is one of the most obvious answers. C’mon. They can ride the train at the front (near the driver). They wouldn’t be crushed.
Wrestler – All the puny humans beside this profession will be crushed. So, they are safe. Just don’t inform them that you’re a performer for Pinoy Wrestling. You’ll die.
Armpit Sniffer – Remember a few years ago where there’s a jpeg of sniffers for a deodorant? They’ll win this one too! Why? Check the next profession.
Hobo – Wow! Hoboes again. Well, for one, they don’t usually take a bath. So, the armpit sniffer can survive the smell. But how about you common person you? Can you survive the great smelly strain?
Contortionist / Acrobats – I think this is a given. They are officially excused.
Touch Therapist – I hate being touched by people I don’t know. I’m not sure if they have some skin problems (Hahaha. Hypocrite!). Now, these people can survive the MRT. I’m sure. I don’t know how. But I’m sure. Though I really don’t know why this is included in the list.
A Millionaire – Like duh. They can buy the MRT.
Call Center Agent / Other night shift jobs – What MRT?
Professional Maniac – They should be nailed to the cross. I guess you ladies (and some men out there) hate these people. They are the professional violators and you don’t want to be near them (especially si lola).
Spider-man – ‘nuff said.