Of my own fortune. No, i’m not lucky.
What is your fortune for today?
I recently bought (define recently… around four weeks ago) a box of fortune cookies in Da Podium and I bought it because I found the item(s) cheap. Ten pieces for sixty bucks (hey, I know it’s not that cheap… waaaiittt, I think there are twelve pieces. Moving on… )
I’m always am excited with fortune cookies. The build-up of excitement once you open the wrapper and you break the cookie is when you see that tiny little wrapper of happiness.
It was different this time. The fortune said (it wasn’t the actual fortune but close) “11524D A green Buddha is good guide for your health wherever you go.”
Here’s the catch, the store where I bought the cookies sell different Feng Shui items. And I’m assuming that that green Buddha is sold there. Hence, (as stated by my friend) a marketing cookie is born. (I really didn’t know that a store like this could sell crap like this. Give me my money back; I’d rather buy F.C.’s from Chowking instead).
And I didn’t even know the first six variables included in the fortune.
Why is it that fortune cookies always give us good fortunes? When you say fortune, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the fortune is good. It can be bad. How about Rowling giving us, Trelawney’s Fortune Cookies?
That would be nice. Imagine different kind of bad fortunes wherein it will give you the type of death that you’ll expect.
“Death by Diarrhea”
“Death by a Jonas’ Brothers stampede”
“Death by Lindsay Lohan’s STD”
“Death by shouting Animo La Salle inside the Ateneo grounds”
“Death by inhalation of Baygon katol”
Of course those fortunes can only be found in Trelawney’s Fortune Cookie Pinoy version. There are other versions too. Like the Nokor version, Afghan version, and the Cueshe version.
And let’s make it cornier this time (hahaha. Korni na nga yung sinabi ko e. Corniest is the word). Remember Erap’s lawyer, Mr. Fortun. He should come up with his own brand of fortune cookies. Yep, you guessed it Fortun cookies.
One of the fortunes includes “You’ll be charged with plunder. You’d be in jail for ten to fifteen years. Then, you’ll be acquitted because we don’t need mayhem from your fans.”
A boss gathered all of his constituents and announced some moral booster during his speech. The company also is celebrating Linggo Ng Wika.
Boss: At inaasahan ko ang lahat ng ating mga manggagawa na mahalin ang ating mga trabaho. Dahil sa opisinang ito, walang aalis…
Asungot: No mass resignation in this office!
Boss: Walang malulungkot!
Asungot: No mass demoralization in this office!
Boss: Walang magugutom!
Asungot: No mass starvation in this office!