Of the 25 #
Ever since 2009 came, it had been tedious for me to write crap.
But writing crap is like butterfly on a sweet Sunday morning for you.
I think a lot of people were able to catch the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania and here are some of my inputs since I’ve been watching a lot of fake, ridiculous, shallowly-scripted “professional” wrestling lately.
Let me put it this way. I’ll try to put the background first on why the match has been decided and I’ll try to add some things I’ve seen in the show.
Simple? Very. Like blue or straw or yeah… zzz… (yeahberry. Hahaha.)
Now, there was this silly storyline wherein The Colons (sounds cancery), composed of Carlito and Primo, are at war with John Morrison and The Miz with winning the hearts of two ladies that are twins. And yeah, that’s it. They did a lumberjack (a lumberjack match means that no wrestlers in the ring can leave the match anytime until the match is finished as there are other wrestlers around to stop them from leaving… aaa… the things that you learn everyday) match to win the hearts of two ladies. Uh-huh.
It was really not part of the show. So, it was not televised. And it would be futile to watch this since these two teams have been going on and on every week in Raw or Smackdown or whatnot. (In short, medyo nakakasawa na sila.)
And who cares who won with that match. (Despite a unified tag team belt, as if those matches are interesting nowadays. Bring back the Legion of Doom, the Nasty Boyz, or even the Bushwackers.)
Now, I really don’t know why they officially started with the Ladder Match. There’s no pre-story here. It is one of those no need to create a storyline matches. It was sort of okay and I was hoping that Mvp or Christian would win but to no avail, Cm Punk won once again. Blech. And the match is so meh (like the kambing.)
The only amusing thing with the 25-diva battle royale is the one where you switch channels while this is being aired or you can even take a dump first and then go back when Santina Marella wins this shitty “match”. At least, there is humour in it.
And the cheesy storyline is that Santina Marella is the so-called twin sister of Santino Marella and “she” took out his lover, Beth Phoenix, out of the ring during the battle royal. And ho-hum, that’s it.
Silly humour is FTW.
One of the stupidest storyline that we have here is Chris Jericho taking on the so-called wrestling legends. Come on. Really?
This is just plain stupid, having Mickey Rourke go inside the ring, punching Chris and that’s it. In case you want to take a dump again, this was one of the instances that you can.
I don’t dare bother writing the pre-storyline for this one. It was kind of stupid.
Next is the Extreme Rules Match between the Hardys. Background storyline is that Matt Hardy did some vewwyyy bad thing to Jeff two months ago and Matt was, sort of, teaching Jeff a lesson about life and the birds and the bees.
At first, Jeff was hesitant to fight his brother but it came to a point where Matt “burned” Jeff’s house down and killed his dog… zzz…
And there is your pre-match storyline.
It would have been nice if the match had some high-flying kick-ass flying wrestling moves. But alas, we all went with your usual chair and tables “extreme” match.
What, no blood?
Dang! Ref… No foul!
The next match went to Rey Mysterio versus JBL. It was the fastest match in the show and it was nice to see JBL do some dramatic, “I quit!” on national television. It is worth watching if you know who JBL is.
(potah. Halos iiyak na si JBL. Naman naman diba.)
The fight with Shawn Michaels versus Undertaker is quite long. The story behind was kind of meh. There was this silly storyline before that where JBL made Shawn an alalay because Shawn can’t pay the rent (how believable, you’re paid big moolah and mauubos ang pera mo? Yeah right), etc and eventually Shawn became the so-called showstopper again and became the usual mayabang.
Then, he challenged Undertaker for a match in Wrestlemania. You see, Undertaker had a sort of winning tradition during Wrestlemania. His current standing is 16-0.
As I’ve said, the fight was long. And yeah Undertaker won. Again, how predictable.
The only amusing thing about the next match is the silliest of the silly where The Big Show, Vicky Guerrero, and Edge have a love triangle to which, epal lang si John Cena. The happiest thing about this is that John Cena can miraculously make the scene funny but the match has been always the same, though it was really amusing when he made buhat the two wrestlers and eventually won the belt.
And lastly, the fight between Orton and Triple H is really kind of amusing. You see, there was this one time in band camp where Triple H made an announcement that he is the husband of the daughter of the owner of WWE. So, it was real in a sense that it was fake making people believe that everything is real, with what Triple H said, despite us, the viewers, perfectly know that everything is scripted and despite Stephanie was kissed by Orton in the process.
Triple H won. Yey.
So, why are you still watching this crap?
Well, the storylines are funny, why shouldn’t I watch it?
(ang haba pala ng sinulat ko… zzzz…)