Of the ang2 #

It is so alright sometimes to dream.

Tutal, libre naman ang mangarap hindi ba?

I’ve always wanted to create a story for a movie but I always end up with bits and pieces for the whole script. I’m not a scriptwriter. I never had any experiences with anything related to movies.

Pagbigyan niyo na.

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I was thinking about something that is related to the White Castle series. You know the one starring John Cho and the Indian guy.

I want to cast a dark-skinned Filipino; the mestizo always has the lead role in a funny film. And I want this dark-skinned Filipino not to be discriminated in some sorts. And then we have his Visayan roommate who can speak straight Tagalog and straight English.

I was thinking of something addicting. We all know that once we show this film in the public, the young generation might have the tendency to idolize the duo. I don’t want them to sniff shabu and MJ is probably passé already. They’ve been using that shit in those trip-out films, like the White Castle film. We have a jologs saying about katol or mosquito repellant being addicting or referencing one of Pol Medina’s storylines in Pugad Baboy where the son of Senator Cabalfin is addicted to vetsin. So, why don’t we create a “cigar” that tastes like vetsin and the smoke emitted from the “cigar”, smells like katol. With the lamest name I could think of, let’s name this one Katsin.

The effects of Katsin are not really that harmful for one’s health; probably the “paninirik ng eyes” and some half-effect from Viagra.

The roommate’s room (duh) is probably filled with outrageous stuff you can buy in Quiapo but not to make them that jologs, we can fill in some expensive collectibles such as those twenty thousand peso worth die-cast items with the likes of Gundam, Marvel characters, and a big picture (an expensive one, once the dialogue starts for the duo, they’ll point out the big picture as expensive) of Rene Requestas. This is like paying homage to one of the Philippine’s greatest comedians.

Since we are doing a small budget film, we can have the landlady addicted to supernatural stuff and those Filipino kasabihans or pamahiins.

Like one scene would show us that this landlady is not in favor of sweeping during nights (wag magwalis pag gabi at ilalabas mo ang swerte) and then one scene giving us that one of her cats would cough up some furballs. She would then inform the audience in a fourth-wall manner that she has a furball shrine already so she doesn’t have to sweep the furball out of the house.

The duo would probably use the landlady’s weakness with one scene where the duo would pay their rent during nights and then blurt out, “ay, manang bawal nga palang magbayad ng utang sa gabi…”

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I was fascinated with the use of Grimace and the Filipino myths and tales. It would be nice if this film is filled with a lot of old Filipino jokes and old punch lines.

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To make the storyline easy, we’re going to let them meet a Mulder character, a cigarette-smoking Mulder even. We’re leaving out Scully since she’s so awesome in the nineties. We’re trying to create a film without any sex involved.

The Mulder character would then inform them that he wants to know the “Alamat Ng Grimace”. For that, he will give the two a reward that they wouldn’t forget.

The duo then, to make the story very simple, would agree to that and the dark-skinned Filipino would wear a fedora hat (cuing in the Indy Jones theme) and the Visayan person would wear an MJ hat (cuing in the famous MJ shout). Again, we are paying homage to MJ here and not bash him. He deserves the homage, IMHO.

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The hardest part in creating these types of films is the ideas of the adventure in the middle. The start and the finale of the film is quite easy exactly if you’ve thought about that just before doing the film.

It is not actually hard per se, with the unlimited number of ideas in mind, you wouldn’t know what to include.

So, allow me with some ideas I have in mind. The following are not connected to each other, I do am busy with my day life so it might take a while to finish a script for this and it would be nice if you have someone to throw ideas to. Again, I’m a newbie in this area and these are purely my ideas. This may suck… I know.

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One scene would show us something dark. With the unlimited number of supernatural stuff in our country let us go back to the time when the Balete drive is extremely used in those eighties films. We could bank that idea and include it in the adventure. I was thinking of using a white lady and they would be scared if they saw the spirit and then they will run, the white lady runs after them, and they will end up probably somewhere in P. Tuazon. Then, the white lady catches up and says “Eeeeeeehhh, nalaglag yung cellphone niyo…” Sounds corny; I know.

Then, another scene is made in the forest. This time, we’re going to bank on that famous ika-pitong bundok story. And of course, we’re going to have an ermitanyo. I was thinking of putting Mura (of the Mahal and Mura tandem). I still don’t have any much information for this but it would be nice if we include this one in the story.

Then, they would sing an Eraserheads song using the outfit of Chito and Vinci from the music video Picha Pie. Toyang would be the song and they’ll going to sing it ala Wayne’s World’s Bohemian Rhapsody as they’ll be having a road trip too. That’s paying homage, obviously to two bands I love, and for the movie Wayne’s World. And it feels like I’m just copying scenes from films.

It would be nice if we’re going to add a scene IRL. A cosplay event is an awesome addition. Take note, they need to meet someone who looks like Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean saga (lol) and then the cosplay event is just filled with Naruto cosplayers. That would be super awesome.

Then, there’ll be the nostalgia scene where they accidentally enter a barbershop filled with video gamers. Here’s the thing the scene is showing people playing the Family Computer, Commodore, the old-school Gameboy, Sega Genesis, game and watch, a brick game, and you’ll see a big burly tattooed guy playing some old school tamagotchi. This sounds so geeky. In addition, a laser disc player, a betamax player, and betamax tapes can be seen from the background. Make the titles of the tape naughty like, “the George Estregan collection” can be seen in one scene.

Buffalo 66 gave us Christina Ricci tap-dancing in one of the bowling lane scenes. So, why don’t we put this scene in this film? A tap-dancing scene of the duo, probably inside a mall, I’m thinking something like Glorietta 4 and some current celebrities will join them in the tap-dancing. Think Keka without the introduction of them doing a song and dance scene. We can decide with the singing later if it is apt with the film.

Now, you might really not care about this but there has always been a wonder for me on why the floors of some of the movie houses in Manila are sticky. This scene is good because it might start out as raunchy but it ends up something like people kept on spilling juices, that’s why the floor is sticky. The best part would be is on how we’ll be able to add this in the story.

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As I run out of ideas (not really, pagod na kong mag-type), the ending would be something like this.

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With the Mulder-type character still waiting for the duo, they can go now and ask the managers and employees of Mcdonalds on what is the real story on the “alamat ng grimace”. The employees would pass them to the manager because they have no right to say it and the managers; every time they would say, “yung pink table kasi…” would kill them on the spot. Think The Ring. The Sadako movie.

The duo would probably kill a lot of Mcdonald’s managers and then they have no choice but to give up, and then paying homage to Doogie Howser, the two of them writes a blog on what happened to them…

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Sounds stupid. As always.

I want the film to be entitled as Ang Alamat Ni Grimace or Ang A.N.G. for short. (I already informed a few of my friends of this stupid idea. Hahaha)

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~ by targrod on November 29, 2009.

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