:: Top11: Concept Museums ::

It was a real hoot, two Fridays ago, when I had a chance to visit the Ayala Museum. Imagine, almost two decades had passed since I experienced the wonderful diorama gallery that this museum had built to the people. To my surprise, it went high-tech when they added the virtual tour. Meaning they would give you small contraptions with an audio tour and you just have to press the corresponding number to determine the description per diorama. I wanted to ask the guard at the entrance if they have a torrent of the audio. I was too scared to ask, I wonder why.

Aside from the 2-hour diorama tour, it was pure luck when they also had the Gallery of the Gold of our Ancestors. It was breath-taking. To see the different gold objects such as earrings, tiaras, and something that looked like an ammo belt, the one that Stallone used in one of his movies. I never knew our country had that kind of treasure and all of us should visit it and let our mouths go gaga while salivating.

Of course, this is still a museum, and you would be able to see galleries of old-school embroidery, Chinese and South East Asian trade goods, and various visual arts. Don’t expect any Robinson’s Gallery, just because.

And then this genius mind (no, not really) came up with this list. It would be awesomer if I knew how to draw shit. Anyhoo…

11 Things. Concept Museums in the Philippines that I would love / expect to see.

1. Celebrity Deathmatch, the real kind. It ranges from the oh so recent scuffle in NAIA to the very dumb words blurted by Willie Revillame against his detractors. There would be hourly re-enactments by Jon Santos and Willie Nepomuceno. (link)

Bad Breath Mouth Attack vs. Beh Buti Nga Eye Beam? Yes?

2. Famous Un-quotes. A rather small museum solely for our brethren who were able to make a mark in Philippine society; with the likes of Miriam Santiago’s “I lied” or Chris Lao’s “I was not informed!”. As the saying goes, “You would never run out of fabulous quotes as long as you are a Pinoy.” (and that quote does not exist, pauso ko lang yan.) (link)

He’s the man!

3. 1-hit Wonders. Remember Novia’s Mga Babae? How about Urban Flow’s Miss Pakipot? This museum’s got it all for you.

Some CTGT for our lost souls, please.

4. Father Figure. A museum solely for our famous fathers who sired a handful lot of children from various women, of course. We would surely see images of Dolphy and Ramon Revilla; as I am not surprised with my own examples. (link)

With all the shit that is happening to your family now, I will adorn that same facial expression.

5. Pinoy Food. CNNGO’s feature lacks the real point of the article. Since this country is regional, there is a lot of delicious Filipino food. And this is the place where you would taste such. Morcon, Laing, and Chicken Feet, I am looking at you. (link)

Always Dream Of Being Owesome!

6. Celebrity Blunders. Claudine Barretto’s “Ay, puntangina!” is the best example of this.

Oozing with class.

7. Anything About Sex. With the country’s supposed conservative approach in almost anything, our take on sex is quite amusing. Imagine back in the nineties where tabloids were almost everywhere with amusing titles such as Tiktik and Toro (the hell!). Plus you would get to see the advantages of technology like the various scandals that proliferated in the Internet and everyone else’s cellphone.

Gift nung guy dun sa babae ay umbrella-ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh-eh (tueniwan).

8. Be Like A Millionaire. This is a simple museum. I am guessing there are two rooms. The first room gives you the winning sweepstakes ticket and you would hear, via P.A., that you won 50 million pesos. Of course, there is a lotto version and I am actually too lazy to explain it to you now. The other room is simple. You tell your name to the dummy supreme court representative and then they would announce you as the new mayor / governor / congressman / senator / president; your choice of course.

I wanna be poor too. And simple.

9. Pinoy Internet User’s Comments. I honestly think that there should be a safeguard for Pinoy idiots in the Internet. Remember this satire posted a few days ago? Dare I tell you to read the comments. Epic stupid comment is stupid. (link to Retailers Ordered to Stop Selling Diablo 3 After CBCP was granted TRO by SRC courtesy of SWN)

And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

10. TV Advertisements. This is a simple trip to memory lane of all those famous and oh-my-god-that-again television commercials. You would get to see old commercials such as the “Nawawala si Jennifer” ad or even “Gina po”.

They should’ve named me Saturday. I would’ve been a hit.

11. We Hate This Celebrity. A different take on the wax museum. You would see images and statues of celebrities and you can actually hurl expletives or even throw tomatoes at them. This concept relies heavily on that Taksyapo area in Isdaan, Tarlac. And with all the celebrity hate, I think this is the perfect place for you. You do not even have to tweet the celebrity that you hate them. Yes, unused angst suck. (link)

I’d like to install this in my room, really.

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~ by targrod on May 28, 2012.

4 Responses to “:: Top11: Concept Museums ::”

  1. Thanks for the mention on your post! It always feel good to be in good company with the likes of Claudine & Urban Flow 🙂

    Xerex is good as well 🙂

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