:: Top11: Alternating sentence ::

(link)

What if, just what if everything went downhill from the befallen ex-chief justice Renato Corona. What if he was finally sentenced to x years in prison?

So, given a chance to change his jail sentence to something hypothetical (or if pleads something in this sense), I came up with this list.

(I know, I know. The ex-CJ bandwagon was so last week, much like Kobe Bryant’s team. But it wouldn’t hurt if I make-hirit for one last time, or probably a few more in the future. Meh.)

11 Things. Alternate jail sentences for Renato Corona.

1. Every time he withdraws from any bank or ATM, he would always get his money in one-peso coins.

2. He has to sell the story of his kin and Carlo J. Caparas would direct their movie. A screaming Kris Aquino element would be added to make the film interesting and memorable.

3. A lie detector machine is always connected to his body. It does not matter if he’s a compulsive liar (?), the amusement of seeing such is a definite approval.

4. Ibibigay niya sa mahirap ang lahat ng mga perang nakuha niya dubiously. Syempre, importante na may positive at philanthropist entry dito sa list. Pero habang pinamimigay niya ito, dapat siyang mag-song and dance katulad ng presentation nung isang frat group sa pelikulang Batch ’81 (Money Money Money).

5. He should always wear a nameplate, or a tat, that says: I am too simple that I have 2.4 million in my dollar account.

6. There should be an image or a video clip of Derek Ramsey’s abs shot in his area of work, sleep, or wherever his eyes would drop or ponder. Yes, inception included.

7. He should create a TV-movie entitled Coronavela based on his life. It should star Aljur Abrenica, Lovi Poe, and Erich Gonzalez. The acting should be really bad. I am sure it wouldn’t take much effort with the cast then. And the dubbing should be awesome; James Earl Jones’ voice for Aljur Abrenica yo.

8. Kailangan niyang gamitin ang kolsenner voice ni Chico Garcia. Anytime, anywhere.

9. Big brother / Truman Show approach. They would show it at channel 3 since no one is using that channel. 24/7 live of course.

10. May free concert ng death metal band sa tabi ng bahay niya palagi. Sagot niya yung bayad syempre. Ang dapat na tumutugtog ay yung mga nag-start pa lang na bands. Newbie + sintunado + loud = purrfect.

11. Every time na papasok sa office si Renato Corona as CJ (in case na manatili siya sa pusisyon), he has to wear a distinct and conspicuous piece of clothing everyday. Kunwari, he has to wear a Darth Vader mask on Monday. Then, wear a tutu on Tuesday. Then, wear a Zorro mask on Wednesday, etc.

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~ by targrod on June 6, 2012.

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