:: Top11: Future 1 ::

I was dilly-dallying earlier and I suddenly missed Conan O’Brien’s ‘In The Year 3000’ segment. It occurred to me that I can do it too albeit not as par as the show. This is only the first installment, I might come up with more crappy ideas in the future. Thus,

11 Things. Manila’s Far From The Future.

Yo-dawg! (link)

1. Trolling school. Trolling is art. There should be finesse. That is why there is a big, big need of trolling school in the Philippines. With the increasing number of Filipino trollers in the Internet, there should be a fine way to execute such. Because we won’t succumb to mediocre trolling. We are Filipinos. We should be awesome.

2. ABS or Anti-lock Braking System for motorcycles. With the increase in number of motorcycle accidents in the metro, it would be really smart if someone would invent an ABS system that is made from bubble wrap. Look, in a scenario where the passenger and / or the driver of the motorcycle would be — and should always be — safe; And every onlooker would actually have a purpose; instead of taking advantage, if there is an accident, they can / should pop bubble wrap.

3. A new category should be introduced in our local film award giving body such as FAMAS or URIAN. Trash films are most often sure-fire hits in the metro and something as amusing as Best Boob or Best Abs in an Acting Role should be made available.

4. The neighboring countries are slowly grabbing natural resources near our border(s). Prices of gas are increasing “rapidly”. So, why not we make-ipon all our utot and generate our own energy. It might not be that big but at least it could provide minimal electricity for our cellular phones and MP3 players. Methane-controlled environment baby!

5. Taking a cue from Pol Medina, there’s a possibility of a Swiss knife with the following items: Earphones, MP3 Player, Mini-DV recorder, 32MP mini-camera, and a lighter. I am looking at you Quiapo. Help us out, kay thanks bye!

6. Bacon infused in chicharon with pork shaving. Boom!

7. Local version of Windows or a Filipino-made Operating System. We would surpass Microsoft. Because we are awesome that way.

8. Blings might be soooo decade ago but there would be a new fashion from our j3j3friends. They would introduce blings made from recyclable materials as they would spearhead the Save The Nature drive or $@V3 m0H+h3R 3@R+h campaign. In fact, they are going to be the new Gen X. The new ‘pag-asa ng bayan.’ *bow*

9. Double-decker jeepneys. Just because we are gaya-gaya with the Brits.

10. Inflatable gondolas. As a nation fearing for another Ondoy or any great flood in the near future, we would follow the high-class lifestyle of those people in Venice. Imagine, tricycle driver by summer, gondola driver by the rainy season. Perfect. By the way, we would call it Little Venice.

11. Former porn star, future president. It is about time. It would easily entice the leaders of the other nations to use their money in our country. Tourism, It is definitely more fun in the Philippines. (President pa lang, scenery na.)


~ by targrod on June 15, 2012.

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