:: Obstructive Sleep Apnea ::

I went to the doctor yesterday to consult my egging problem. You see, decades after watching Total Recall (the original), I still have that certain amusement with the lady who had three mammary glands. I wanted one for myself too. But it wouldn’t work since having three nipples doesn’t say much. I can only flaunt it when I am on the beach or dancing rave on top of a bar stool inside a discohan. And so, the nearest I could think of is to attach an extra ball. Yes, three balls. Why? Why not?

You know, I aim to be unique.

Seriously, Ihave problems with my breathing lately. I’m not entirely sure what it is so I decided to ask our family doctor (our pogi at matalinong family doctor, it runs in the blood. hehe). I want full details on how I could alleviate or even heal it; I actually have a heart problem. Yes, blame Marfan; bitch please.

One thing I liked about yesterday is that the ICU had few patients lying on their beds, which means one thing, the sixth sense stays closed and no bothersome entities floating around.

Symptoms were checked. Heart was verified if it still works; I guess everything is okay in that area so heartbreaks bring it on! Our wonderful family doctor specializes in cardio so he gave me a few initial findings on what is happening in my respiratory system. He told me that I might’ve acquired OSA or Owesome Sex Act. Siriusly, it means Obstructive Sleep Apnea. He says, people acquire this at the start of their thirties. Wow, how exact. Right?

It simply means that there is a blockage at the region where your air comes out. Meaning, I am actually retaining carbon dioxide in the body instead of releasing it. And that’s why, the body is un-relaxed despite a good night’s sleep.

So, the fam doctor informed me to have sex at least 10 times a day. Saying this with glee, in front of the mother. Just kidding.

Speaking of which. When the doctor told me to stay away from alcohol, the mother blurted out, “bakit hindi ko alam ‘yan?” I immediately bounced back, “why should i tell it to you?”

There was even a follow-up in the car on our way home, “you will always be my little boy.”

Awwww. I’m so glad that we do this during our parent-child time only. Parents. Heh.

The doctor said that there are two things that could solve my problem. One is an operation. The other is a contraption that would assist my breathing during sleep. The operation is 95% sure only and that contraption is fully capable in helping me take out my sleep apnea. WE HAVE A WIENER, FOLKS!

And with that, I do hope that this problem is just purely emotional baggage. Because that is possible too. I must take last month’s dirt off my chest. Hoping to cope up from this unwavering misery due to the strong forces that endanger the evil inside.


For my friends who think that they feel tired after waking up, with an ample amount of sleep, might as well see a doctor. It might be Sleep Apnea.

You know,

“pare, mayroon ka na ba ng apnea?”
“wala pa eh. may bayad yung apnea.”
“ako, may ap na sa android ko. magandang game, dudez.”

Also, I haz to buy an expensive pillow, just for that. Meh. Health is wealth. Luho is baho. Movie is Atevie.


~ by targrod on September 24, 2012.

6 Responses to “:: Obstructive Sleep Apnea ::”

  1. Tama. You buy an expensive pillow. His pillow is aparently also her pillow. Alabyu. Hihi .

    Love the bed parasite bebe.

  2. I’m amazed at how you’re taking all your serious health issues ever so lightly. I pray for you to get well very soon. Cheers to a healthier you! **at least pwede ka pa sa cybertoast 😀 **

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