:: Top11: jail time ::

A lot of people are probably rejoicing with the TRO of the Cybercrime Law. One can really wonder and ponder that this is a good prerogative from the justice system. Yes people from the government, listen to the people. It is as simple as that. Not that we want anarchy, but we want laws to be justifiable and fair. And we want the law workable for everyone.

It was actually a great move to the lawmakers. We’ve focused on the libel clause but almost no one is even aware of the worse-than-sopa clause. Yes, that shitty law where artistic freedom is clamped down. So much for democracy. I guess it’s not too late to join the bandwagon of shackling the Interwebz here in Asia.

Thing is, it would be hard to justify the so-called freedom of artistic integrity from people who rarely use the Interwebz.

But it got me thinking. What if the previously approved CC Law is carried out? What can we possibly do to avoid any “law-breaking”? Here are some tips that I came up while eating an invisible Barnone and watching the up and coming Weezer concert in Indonesia.

I haz time-turner, yo!

11 Things. We can do to avoid jail time courtesy of the CC Law.

1. Go old-school. Just download. Remove all torrents in your computer and avoid using uTorrent. I know it would be hard for those people who hate non-automated forms of executable programs. But everything has a work-around. Think of it this way, if you run out of condoms, you can actually use Reynold’s wrap, the plastic kind. Try it.

2. Psst boss, DVD. We can’t stop piracy in the Philippines. Seriously, people. This is a way life. Can they remove those pedicab drivers that plow the streets of Metro Manila? Can they remove the inhabitants near Floodway or any water way in the Metro? Can we remove colorum public utility vehicles? Your answer is as good as mine. It might cost you more (or less, it depends on your suki) but it is definitely cheaper that hauling your ass in a jail cell. Plus, this is the right time to cut your ties with our local Internet providers who actually gave assurance that they would give out wonderful Interwebz speeds. Again, priorities of the government. Right?

3. Run for any position in the government. We will support you with the changes. Remember that it is always a numbers game. I’m sure the netizens would support your cause. Just don’t fucking abuse it.

4. Take up zen classes. Or any shitty things out there that would make you a well-rounded positive person. Optimism is an old-school approach to anything. This goes very well with the ‘think before you click’ campaign. Only say nice things to people. At first, I know it would be hard. But in the end, you are going to be the winner. Trust me, we need more people like you. And my gosh, you’d be the next Stepford Wife / Husband awardee. Positive ka na, may award ka pa. Award!

5. Never use your own Interwebz connectionz. Make-tambay in coffee shops with free weefee. Make-tambay near hotels that offer free weefee. Make-tambay near your neighbor who doesn’t know how to use the password of their wireless router. This is the best time to leech precious Interwebz usage from people you do not know. Imagine, Manila filled with closed coffee shops due to the CC Law. Sige nga, you make-bangga of the coffee with the dyesebel logo.

6. Live some place else and say it. Look at what DJ Mo Twister did. Be ‘gallant’. Be ‘proud’. I think he’s the excellent example for this.

7. Vote wisely. Vote for the right people in the government. We need newer blood. Those who are really smart, who has the passion, and who does not just use their family name for personal gain. Remember that the circus freaks should stay in the fancy parts of this country and those who really do care are put in office. Come on, people. We love our country, right? We need not more of these things. We need growth and no more ignorant and unqualified people in the government. Politics is not a stepping stone for anything. You are there to serve the people. Let us not be the laughing-stock of the world with ambiguous and down-right unmentionable laws.

8. Acting workshop. Learn to apologize, with tears, even if you don’t really mean it. Remember that there are two sides in libel, the accuser and the accused. So, if someone actually filed libel, just give a heartfelt and plastic apology. People might not notice what you usually feel in print, and the accuser might actually accept your apology, dropping the charge(s) in the process. I haven’t heard of libel that says ‘People of the Philippines versus Mang Kepweng’. I might be wrong with this one but it does not mean that you don’t need an acting workshop. You can still use it in the future; for example: traffic violations.

9. To my friends in the cybersex industry (just to clarify, I don’t have friends in the cybersex industry. it sounds so formal if I say that. it feels good to be formal), just take note of your workwhoreses (see what I did there? ha!) Just remember that underage individuals should stay in school and never use them for sex. Only corrupt individuals if they are considered as adults already. I know I am not making any sense here. I know prostitution is an age-old occupation and sometimes people has to do it (seriously, there are people who are willing to do this to survive. it’s not a perfect world, honey.) Nonetheless, as a wonderful and awesome human being, I can actually help you with your endeavors. Link, please. (uy, the links are not for me ah. I have this friend…)

10. Delete porn in your hard drive. This is really important and this does not correspond to the topic at hand. This is just a friendly reminder from moi.

11. Release the zombie virus. Since we are going down to the dogs, we need an important diversion. Imagine, the government is actually using hard-earned money to fight the undead. Thanks to you, we are in zombieland and sadlghoghskdghs;lkgh;slkghs;lkgslkgj’sd;lgjs’dg;ljs;lgjndflkgh oiehgoweghkwengleg.g?egglgllllllllllllllllllll

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~ by targrod on October 10, 2012.

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