:: ’tis our wedding ::

(I started writing about this, weeks ago, and I just found precious time in updating it. Hence, the weirdness in the first sentences for this journal entry)

Oh, hi. How are you?
I have been out of the online journal loop for weeks.
I am extremely rusty with the written word.
I am back and I would like to tell a wittle story on what had happened the past month.

Ish a bit long. You can always read the Tagalized version of 50 Shades of Grey if you find this post TL;DR.

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‘TIS QUITE OBVIOUS

Just last January, I have posted things about this so-called Special Event, a fairly obvious thingers; asking my id on why go cryptic about it. Well, for one, I am stupid. I already talked about food, music, pre-nuptial shoot, flowers, rings, church requirements and stuff, and the summary. Everything in our domain stopped, the moment January 31, 2013 kicked in. It was a great trial for our soon-to-be, bigger, family. I guess we were all lucky that we were able to got past that grim and uneventful experience. I know the future is dim to that piece of our pie but at least March 4, 2013 happened. Without any trouble. Thank God for that. Plus the bride also had her share of mishap when her mom was hospitalized too.

Enough with the drama. Let us proceed to the juicy bits.

Oh, before I forget. How about this not-so-cryptic post last December. This is so me. I should get the Miss Cryptic Award.

Again, let us proceed to the juicy bits.

Are you talking about my juicy bits? Hihihi.

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PROPHESIED.

Everything that happened was just a result of a couple’s copulation two parallel lines shown inside a rectangular panel. It all started with the use of a small device bought at Watson’s, The Podium, ADB Avenue, Ortigas Center, Pasig City, 1600, Earth. Imagine, I was not even there when I found out about it. As much as I would want to use it first, Safeguard soap conscience informed me that I cannot / have no right to use it because it would not work. BUT WHY? YOU DON’T DO THAT TO ME!

Nonetheless, I obliged.

The female specie was exasperated and excited with the result. The man was truly happy with two things. First, the result of love and second, the swimmers are working. Imagine, they are still working. Hi-five to the swimmers, yo!

Here is the funnier thing. Of course, we were quite hesitant if we could tell our parents outright of our “little dilemma”. I guess it all boils down to the perfect timing. Or not.

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I was probably lucky with the turn of events. It was nearing the 25th of December and our three-man family was in-charge with the offertory. I guess it was a chance for me to tell my dear parents of my “surprise”. After the mass, I touched my mom’s hand and whispered, “Ma, may sasabihin ako sa iyo.” My mom replied, “Parang alam ko na ang sasabihin mo. May sinabi sa akin ang lola mo. Buntis si Armi noh?”

So, tell me, what is the appropriate answer for that? NOTHING.

Oh, before you react negatively of what my mother had told me, I would just like to inform that our clan has this supernatural thing running through our veins. We are not real-life witches but I know we came from one, which is a different story and I am hesitant to share. My grandma died decades ago and my mom talks to her through dreams. Again, if you don’t know me well, I have talked about the supernatural for years already. Do not be surprised. Breathe. (oh, sino katabi mo ngayon? trololololol)

The dream was actually composed of two-parts. One was a “good news” to the clan. The second was, well, “babae”. Since my cousin is also expecting, my mom thought that the good news and “babae” was her. And my mom dreamed about this a week before our gig in the church. Of course, the greatest plus is, we have actually known about her gender two months after conception.

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Trivia: In her lifetime, my mom only missed one guess in terms of gender of a baby while it is still inside the womb. My mom is not a freak a. Her son is.

The wife actually had a better experience. You know the saying about a secret that you don’t want to divulge to anyone and yet, Murphy’s Law kicks in? Well, such lucky thing happened. Her mom’s inquisitive mind, and fingers, managed to rummage through our OB-Gyne’s appointment papers. Such a fun thing to happen. Imagine, there would be no plans or anything on how we would tell her parents. It was all there already.

And so, both families eventually knew what we have. This might be the most unromantic thing that you would ever hear. There was no proposition or anything. Pamamanhikan just happened. Plans to the upcoming wedding started.

Though, to be fair to this extra-kissable writer (lawlz), I actually proposed to Armi eons ago. But it was more intimate. No, fancy things around us. Just the two of us.

*hands out barf bags*

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THE SUMPTUOUS LECHE PLAN.

Just to follow-up my point, where I proposed to her eons ago; we actually started early with our wedding dreams, even without the moolerz or even a kid. We already have plans for the invites, the cake, the motif, and some minor details. We actually thought of having a wedding singer, and his name, that time, was Ebe Dancel (don’t worry, this never materialized because we are extremely poor. Oh, pass the tuyo and talbows ng kamowte. I’m hunger na.)

Now comes the real “problem”. We have a limited budget and we have to maximize it to the fullest to attain the desired outcome that we want for our wedding. We chose a fairly moderate church (in terms of price), which is the Christ The King Church along Green Meadows. We actually had to choose between Mt. Carmel and CTK. CTK sounded nice to me actually. It felt like it was California, uhm, Tizza Kitchen? Never mind.

But the real reason on why we ended in CTK, is in terms of geography; because it is quite near us in Cainta. And of course, it is blind and old people friendly; since we rented the CTK Parish Hall, just 121, or less, steps away from the Church.

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Regarding the invitation, we wanted it to be unique and something that best fit our motif. The motif was just originally green and copper gold. As we are fans of the Harry Potter fandom and it was easy to suggest that it would be nice to see an invitation that looks exactly like the Marauder’s Map. And with that, I immediately tapped a friend, who is also The National Artist for Weddings: Jovan De Ocampo, to help me create a very non-traditional Filipino wedding invite.

It took us almost a month to finish the best design, find the best paper, and do the best inking. A wholehearted thank you to Jovan and the printing press, this is such a wonderful concept and design for an invite and I really do not know if we could do it without you. Heartfelt gratitude to the highest level!

The caterer was quite easy to find. Last year we got them for my father’s 77th birthday. The thing with them are they don’t impose on their clients. Meaning you get to choose the menu of food that you want if you are trying to cut down on expenses. And of course, their food is delicious. I also asked them if it would be funner if we would not use forks and spoons during dinner, just chopsticks. I was hurt when they told me that it would be impossible to use chopsticks on soup. I was appalled. YOU DON’T DO THAT TO ME!

Dalawang YDDTTM na ‘yan. quota na.

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To make it safe, we actually added 2 sets of lechon for the wedding feast to avoid any problems especially if we ran out of food. And Tinapang Ostrich was originally part of the menu. I was surprised that they took this out also. I wonder why.

Must have run away, run away, run away, with you. ‘coz I-hahaayyy…

Awesome add-on number two: they also offer ice sculpture. I immediately informed them that I want a Phoenix (not read as Phoenis). I instantly remembered Fawkes, the bird who is mababa in flying. Why? Well, he is a Fawke-Fawkes kasi.

Awesome add-on number three: They offered free doves, not the soap and a red carpet. ‘coz someone had her period on a white carpet. Hahaha. Hey ho, tasteless joke.

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Making things easier, and somehow cheaper for us, we asked them if they know anyone who could provide the lights, sounds, and video for our wedding. We were not expecting an extra wonderful lights and sounds in the site. It was the right light, whatever that means. Also, we took out the supposed boring parts of the wedding; part of which is the AVP. We have to accept the fact that whenever this is shown in weddings, it is the perfect opportunity to light a cigarette or even go to the restroom and take a dump. We have decided to just document the wedding, from the hotel to the reception, and probably show them in the future. Again, the keyword here is keeping the wedding’s cost low…er.

To at least maximize our pre-nuptial photos. We have decided to just create a slide show of all the fab and extra-embarassing images. I would like to thank Niki Yarte for that. He is like the Ate Vi of the visual world. Yeah, Visual-person for all seasons. But he is definitely not related to Joma Season (kapag may katwiran, good.)

Of course, the greatest gratitude also goes to the photographers of our wedding, Markku and Hana. Spell Awesome?

Awesome in English is sour, by the way. Sour is not the sakit a. SARS ‘yun.

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TIK-TOK TIK-TOK-TOK-TOK, SA AJINOMOTO.

Apart from the various things that we have done, I was actually asking help from the wonderful crew, The Wedding Wizards. Beauty Queens in their own right, except for Dru Salazar (which was actually a runner-up as Miss Si-Reyna of 1999), they gave me the best tips, questionnaires, checklists, and what-not during the entire two and a half months of super-haggard, full of tension days of a soon-to-be couple. I love the fact that they were able to give me the perfect items that were needed in our wedding. Even with the pictorial during the wedding, this Dru Salazar gave the best hairstyle (it should have been a different word but this author wants to stick to PG) to a groom. Kadiri to the nth level, Daniel Padilla lang ang peg.

In which, they gave me a checklist of items that we need to use in the reception. From chocolate coin galleons to fake potion bottles (plus the butterballs provided by Erna, I owe you!). Where we just added a few items such as the Mang Berto’s not-so-flavored beans and the low-flying stand-still sniches. Of course, hats off (and panties off, hahaha) to Dru Salazar for the bonggang-bonggang reception style.

Another plus goes to Erna and Treiz, for lending us Harry Potter books. It was well-maximized, perfecting the occasion.

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In which, we took out the Photobooth element and eventually came up with a Photowall. Contrary to popular demand, photo booths are passe. You know, passe? Like what Jeneva Cross sang decades ago: “Anak ng Passe naman kayow…” Awesome work from Erna San Luis’ family. It was such a cute concept. I hope people would follow suit.

In which, I thought I won’t see a bridal book in my wedding. Time sucks ass and even if I have a willing hand on standby, we did not anticipate the creation of such. With the wonderful idea of Rhix Yray, The Wishing Wall was born. It felt like there was a giant set of pubic hair este loose hairs falling down from the sky. Siriusly, this late add-on was awesome too. Thanks to Carlo Oriel (and Duday too) for providing the cut-outs and the ribbons. You are the best papa Carlo. Mwah.

In which, they gave me templates to every crook and ninny. Where we had a hard time on whom we should invite to the wedding. A thousand apologies to all those peeps that we did not invite. Money matters much in this kind of occasion. In as much as we wanted to have 500 hundred guests, we could only accommodate around 210 people only. I hope you, guys, understand our dilemma.

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And lastly, in which, they helped book Chico and Delamar for our wedding. It was such a delight in all aspects. Thank you, C&D (and cooper Ü) for coming.

I would also like to thank Sheila (and her family) and Luke, Armi’s family, Mark and MR, and Gilyn Maravilla for the various help. And to those peeps who were not mentioned, there is a reason on why you were not mentioned, because we hate you. Kidding. Of course, a thousand thanks to you too. Post a comment or whatnot if you showed some love to this couple. =)

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ANG UNANG ARAW NG ISANG MASAYA AT MASIGABONG DESTINASYON TUNGO SA ISANG HALINGHING NG BUHAY. CHOS.

Okay. This is actually the harder part in this journal entry. I think it would be easier to say that we had the best time of our lives.

That is it.

But it would be unfair to this non-pornographic memory. I usually tell myself that I should put this down in writing, as I would want to read this again, probably, ten years from now. When our child can finally read “stuffs” in the Interwebz. Where she would ask her father things like pubic and halinghing. I am ready, dowter. I am ready.

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To every successful wedding is obstacles that the human phenomenon can’t control. I get it. We have to face this crap moment. Imagine, we were still doing a lot of wedding things a day before the wedding. Relaxing was not part of our vocabulary. It was that hectic. Let’s put it this way, I actually finished the program just the night before the wedding. Good thing that we were having an afternoon wedding. Or else: Zombie Groom.

Just because this groom wants a fairly enjoyable program. We tried to take out the boring moments. As couples would always say that this is their day. But remember, you have hundreds of people to share it too. So, creating five AVP’s is not as fun as it would sound. True Story. Start with the fairly traditional ones and mix it with important stuff. Do dinner and add the top ten (yay top ten). And then, finish it with the more important ones. Oh, add humor to the entourage (re: abays) too. I had such fun in doing it.

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Also, I asked help from Sta. Clara. This one seriously works. Imagine, tikbalangs had their own wedding before our wedding. It was that scary.

Amazingly, the moment the church mass started, it went to the smoothest of the smooth.

Oh, you think it is as smooth as your cheeks? Come on. It’s like a horse race track. Full of tigidigs.

Back at the hotel, one wedding coordinator was asking something about the church. He said that it was about a surprise gift from the bride’s co-choir members. I was intrigued. I mean having the FEU Chorale sing on our wedding is just wow but it was more than meets the eye.

And when I saw the surprise gift, I wanted to cry, on the spot. A few members of the choir that didn’t attend our wedding gave us a String Quartet. HOLY WOW! I know it was just a dream for this groom to have a string quartet in his wedding. It was a wish actually. Until now, I am still overwhelmed by that gesture.

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Moreover, our priest was awesome. Never in my life would I think, and even say, such words in front of everyone. The priest told me to say our wedding vows using the squirmy nicknames that we use for each other. In this case, it was “beh”, short for bebeh. So, the vows went “Beh, blah blah blah.”

Reception kicked in just after and it was one best memory this person could have. Notable things include the continuation of the holyguacamole String Quartet, songers from the FEU chorale, THE TOP TEN, the speeches of the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the two mothers, the oh-so-awesome song from Tito Junn, the surprise photo with the couple and the ultra-heinous and most embarrassing sexy dance of the groom. Kadiri.

Capping the night with the usual ‘let the groom barf his hearts out inside the comfort room’ scenario. Siriusly, I think I was the only one in the room who threw up due to a shot of Bacardi Rhum. It was the bride’s kuya’s initiation I guess. No harm done. =)

Of course, ending this with the million thank yous to all those who attended, who gave us wonderful gifts, and to all the well-wishers via text, twitter, plurk, and facebook. Tagos sa puso mga ser chief. Isang magandang katagusan. Mwah!

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~ by targrod on April 9, 2013.

3 Responses to “:: ’tis our wedding ::”

  1. Sana may pay per view ang weeding nyo sa cable, magsusubscribe ako. Oo, weeding talaga, di yan typo haha! Congrats again to you and Armi! I enjoyed reading this, para na rin akong andun. Pahingi ng tinapang ostrich ah! 😀

  2. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako na may isang paragraph dito na dedicated to me dahil… wow! From Ate Vi to Joma Sison! Siyet!

  3. Congratulations again Jay!:D Wow! That’s what I can say. That is quite a sweet, unique and supecalifragilisticexplialidocious! ahahaha

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