2010

Entries for TMR’s Top 10. Majority of which were sent in by Dennis Pinch (and probably a few from Targrod).

JANUARY
01.04.10 – Crazy quotes:
0700 – #4 – We know that you are our superior but please stop threatening to fire us just because we ignored your Mafia Wars request.
0700 – #1 – I love your new album. My favorite is Bad Romance.
0730 – #7 – Miss… A bright yellow blouse and a purple shirt is not a good combination.

01.05.10 – Things you do to sabotage your own chances for love:
0630 – #7 – Say I love you on the very first date.

01.06.10 – Stalker stories:
0830 – #7 – I once Googled (the names of) my office batchmates. Luckily, one of them had a lot of hits. May kapangalan pala siyang pornstar from Latin America.

01.07.10 – Travel quotes:
0730 – #6 – Way back in July, I went to a Lucena resort. One of the attractions said, ‘Butterfly Farm’. The thing is puro chickens yung nasa farm.

01.12.10 – Signs that you’re difficult:
0630 – #8 – Someone that I know of almost drowned last September because he did not want to leave his belongings.

01.13.10 – Signs someone is fake or plastic:
0630 – #9 – If you found your boss’ cheesecake really good. In reality, the cake sucked.
0700 – #4 – If the person practices the art of insincere smiling.
0800 – #4 – Pag yes ka lang ng yes sa kausap mo.

01.14.10 – Non-academic lessons you learned in school:
0730 – #10 – Acronyms: TBA means To Be Announced and in our school TH means Tuesday and Huwebes, not Thursday.

01.15.10 – Signs you’re no longer “just friends”:
0700 – #5 – When there’s ‘xoxo’ at the end of her text messages.
0730 – #9 – If you found out from your friends that they got a Christmas greeting from her, “Merry Christmas, from you and her.”
0800 – #2 – Instead of calling her mom ‘tita’, you accidentally call her ‘nanay’.

01.18.10 – Signs that you are a perv:
0730 – #7 – If you always shine your shoes so you can make boso the girls.

01.19.10 – Sipsip quotes:
0630 – #10 – My mom calls waiters either waiter or psst but when she needs something she says pogi.
0700 – #3 – One time, nahuli ng MMDA yung pinsan ko. She was able to escape the huli and added, “Ano ba ang name mo at ico-commendate kita.”

01.26.10 – Things to say to the one you love the most but can never be with:
0630 – #7 – Babae ang gusto mo? Mag-GF na kayo? Pwedeng panood na lang?
0700 – #4 – Ang dami ko nang tumulong luha, hindi pa naman tayo.
0730 – #7 – Now, that is a long list of why we can’t be in a relationship.

01.27.10 – Signs you’ve had it:
0630 – # – When you turn to cable TV, (for) every time you see those lab rats in channel 2 (referring to PBB here, sorry Chico)

01.28.10 – Manliligaw quotes:
0630 – #8 – I said this to one of my exes nung hindi pa kami, “Hypothetical lang. What if kung single tayo peareho, posible ba na maging tayo?
0700 – #6 – A college friend did this: He and girl where walking downstairs. He stopped her and said, “Nararamdaman mo na ba?” Paused and looked at her and said “na mahal kita?”

01.29.10 – Signs you’re trying too hard:
0900 – #5 – When you try hard to look (like) an awesome geek even if the eyeglasses you are wearing has no grade.

FEBRUARY
02.01.10 – Things you’ve learned while traveling:
0830 – #7 – Always bring a calculator. If you’re making tawad, you can always use numbers if you’re having problems with language translation.
0830 – #7 – Be aware of your hand gestures. Hindi mo alam, baka nakaka-offend ka na pala ng ibang tao.
0830 – #7 – Wag sasama sa isang taong KJ or corny. Minsan excited lang sila sa concept of travel. Pag dating dun, they might say, “Yan na yun? Uwi na tayo.”

02.02.10 – Answers to the question: Do you really love me?:
0700 – #1 – Pagkatapos mo mambabae ng 5 beses, iwan ako ng 2 beses, at gamitin ang credit card ko para sa pang-regalo sa mga babae mo at nandito pa din ako, yan ang itatanong mo?

02.03.10 – Signs you have not learned your lesson:
0630 – #7 – Talking to one of my exes. This is the same person who gave the worst year of my life.
0830 – #6 – When you keep on ordering out to this Ortigas establishment and they always get your name wrong when you read the receipt of the delivered item.

02.04.10 – Sexy quotes:
0630 – #7 – The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
0700 – #1 – My husband’s German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me – Bette Midler.
0800 – #2 – The angle of the dongle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant.

02.05.10 – Ways to answer the question: “Do you think she’s prettier than me?”:
0630 – #6 – It doesn’t matter actually. I am prettier than you two.
0700 – #2 – If I tell you the truth, am I still going to get some later?

02.08.10 – Questions you’d be afraid to answer in a lie detector test:
0630 – #6 – Have you ever swam in a sea of garbage?
0700 – #5 – My dad asked me this question when I was a bit younger, “Gumagamit ka ba ng condom?” It was awkward, hindi naman kami close kasi.

02.09.10 – Things to say to an unruly child (or their parents):
0630 – #6 – Gagamit ako ng voice-over (P.A. system) ng 1 mall at, “Para dun sa magulang na walang pakialam sa anak nila. Sawayin niyo ang anak niyo at wala kayo sa bahay niyo!”
0700 – #5 – Misis, kung ngayon pa lang sinasabi niyo na hindi niyo kayang controllin’ yang anak niyo. Aba, mag-ipon na kayo para sa pang-pyansya sa anak niyo.

02.10.10 – Promises you’ve made:
0630 – #9 – I promise to be a responsible, caring, loving, and thoughtful husband. Oh, bride na lang ang kulang. Any takers?
0630 – #7 – From most of the politicians out there, “I promise na hindi na ko magnanakaw!”
0800 – #4 – I promise not to tell you that I have been crushing on you for almost a decade already.

02.11.10 – Ways to complete the statement: “Love isn’t…”:
0630 – #10 – Quantitative.
0730 – #6 – Just for beautiful people.
0730 – #6 – Maikli and malambot.

02.15.10 – Answers to kid question:
0630 – #7 – When I was young and when my mom was tired of replying with my trailing questions all with “Bakit?” Her final answer would always be, “Ng dahil sa ukit.”

02.16.10 – Signs you won’t be a good parent:
0630 – #6 – When you’re not a good son / daughter. History might repeat itself.
0700 – #1 – Kung and intindi mo sa parenting is to use sugar to shut the kid up.
0730 – #9 – When patience is not your virtue.

02.17.10 – Signs you’re mean:
0630 – #6 – If you can’t feel sympathy on your office-mate / enemy even if he suffered a tragedy in his life.

02.18.10 – Movie titles for a tragic love story:
0700 – #3 – She left me with her ex lover.

02.19.10 – Things you don’t want to hear in a gym or spa:
0630 – #6 – At a spa, manager to employee, “Nainit mo na ba sa takure yung tubig na gagamitin natin dun sa hot bath pool?”

02.22.10 – Things to say to a skanky biatch:
0730 – #8 – Uy, narinig mo yung announcement? Lahat daw ng mga slut pipila sa aisle 1 for social climbing.
0830 – #6 – Skank ka daw? It makes sense. You smell like them.

02.24.10 – Answers to the question “Why don’t you love me?”:
0630 – #9 – But you broke my heart twice already. I have to move on.

02.25.10 – Signs that you are a boyfriend/girlfriend from hell:
0630 – #6 – If you act like a parent and not in a relationship.
0700 – #5 – She has a habit of emasculating the guy especially in public.
0730 – #10 – Pag binaba mo yung girl sa south super highway and pinabayaan mo lang siyang umakyat dun sa bakod to get home.

02.26.10 – Signs you’re addicted to your cellphone:
0630 – #8 – An MMP RX story: I lost my phone when I watched Alvin and the Chipmunks with the rushers. Nung pauwi ako, someone called our house, (someone) found my phone inside the movie house. Ayun, I got it back. Thanks to that person. RX listeners are good people.
0700 – #3 – A friend learned her lesson on making pakialam her friend’s phone. She saw her friend’s male genitals when she was browsing the pictures.

MARCH
03.02.10 – Worst titles for a summer movie:
0700 – #2 – Sunburnt egg and the men of the nudist colony.

03.03.10 – Ways to spot a golddigger:
0800 – #5 – When you’re ready to wake up to a dead person beside you.

03.04.10 – Signs that you are an annoying couple:
0630 – #6 – Pag non-stop ang pag PDA nila. Yung tipong wala silang piniling lugar.
0700 – #3 – Too much cheesy Facebook updates.
0700 – #3 – When they know all your secrets even if you only told them to your girl BFF.
0730 – #10 – Pag nakaka-out of place na yung inside jokes nung dalawa.
0730 – #10 – Like those couple who celebrate weeksaries or even daysaries.

03.05.10 – Things to say to a girl in love with a gay guy:
0700 – #5 – Ready ka bang magselos sa mga hindi mo ka-baro?
0730 – #9 – I can’t believe his boobs are bigger than yours.
0730 – #9 – May mama ka na, may papa ka pa.

03.08.10 – Signs that it’s time to lose weight:
0730 – #6 – Pag kinalabit ka ng katabi mo at nagkaroon ng waves or aftershocks sa skin mo.
0830 – #2 – Pag pumupunta ka sa isang breakfast buffet ang sagot sa iyo ng waiter, “Ay sir, wala pong buffet ngayon… simula nung dumating kayo.”

03.09.10 – Lousiest lies you’ve ever told:
0730 – #9 – That I was the son of Christopher De Leon.

03.10.10 – Signs that it’s time to let go:
0830 – #10 – (of a concert) Pag alam mo na you need to wake up early tomorrow because you need to see these two gorgeous DJ’s.

03.11.10 – Titles for a movie about your ex:
0630 – #6 – How the bitch stole Christmas.
0700 – #2 – The swallower.

03.15.10 – Best, worst or most unique names (people/pets/places):
0700 – #5 – At the office, we had a couple whose last names were Ting and Tong.

03.16.10 – Things you blame on your parents:
0830 – #9 – I am blaming my mom for my psychic skills. Hindi happy ang pagiging bata with a third eye on the side.

03.17.10 – Someone’s feeling close:
0630 – #6 – Pag nagpalagay siya sa butt ng sun block lotion. Eh pareho naman kaming lalaki.
0700 – #4 – Pag nangutang ng 4-digit worth yung ka-officemate mo. Eh (ni) hindi naman kayo nag-uusap.

03.18.10 – Movie titles involving a body part:
0630 – #10 – Nagluha ang mga mata ko nung tinoot mo ko.
0800 – #4 – Tumulo ang katas ng pinisa ang aking pigsa.

03.19.10 – Things to say during a fling:
0700 – #3 – From the film Up In The Air, Vera to George: “I am the woman that you don’t have to worry about.”
1000 – #8 – I just have to remind you, just like the first rule of fight club, we do not talk about this.

03.22.10 – Memorable things drunk people have said:
0630 – #10 – Pare, hindi ba ang sabi ko sa iyo, sa moon mo i-park yung sasakyan? Lasing ka ba?
0700 – #5 – I asked my officemate hour after hour kung nakakailan na siya, he always say, “Pang-anim ko pa lang.” Eh nakakatatlo pa lang naman siya.”

03.23.10 – Things to tell someone after a really bad break-up:
0630 – #6 – Final na ba talaga yan? Nagsasawa na kami sa away-bati niyo.

03.24.10 – Buti nga moments:
0630 – #6 – Yung mga taong ayaw bumitaw sa mic pag may videoke, buti nga pumiyok na siya.

03.25.10 – Nicknames for your “naughty bits”:
0700 – #4 – Manneevee. Lumangoy na kasi siya sa madaming dagat ng basura.
0900 – #2 – 7-11. Pag malambot kasi 7.
0930 – #4 – Waiting In Line. Kasi ang tagal na niyang nakatayo.

03.26.10 – Bad titles for a kid movie:
0700 – #2 – My fucking little ponies and friends.

03.29.10 – Things to say to a bad driver:
0800 – #2 – Alam mo, may purpose yang tersera, kwarta, at kinta ng sasakyan. Nawawala ang purpose ng saaskyan pag hindi ginamit yan.
0800 – #1 – Matapang ka lang pag nasa loob ng sasakyan…
0930 – #8 – Manong, tama na ang boso niyo sa boobs ko. Lalaki ako…

03.30.10 – Last words:
0700 – #1 – And I did it Myyyyyyyyy Wa…
0730 – #9 – In front of everyone you love, a friend says, “Pare, na-raid yung pinupuntahan natin sa Pasay.”

03.31.10 – Sins you should be punished for:
0630 – #6 – For downloading illegal stuff. Such as films, in the Internet.
0800 – #2 – Pag nagising ako ng maaga para (lang) pumunta sa RX at late (babalik) sa office.
1000 – #4 – For doing personal things during office hours.

APRIL
04.05.10 – Answers to the question: “What do you want from me?”:
0630 – #6 – Apology to the millions of Filipinos you lambasted, to Adam Carola.

04.06.10 – Club / Bar / Disco quotes:
0630 – #9 – I like the iced tea in this bar, nakakalasing. Girl referring to the drink, long island iced tea.
0700 – #4 – A friend told me na sabi nung ka-table niya, “Walang mangyayari sa tin dito sa VIP room. I-date mo muna ako.”
0800 – #5 – In a bar, “Anong oras tutugtog ang combo?”

04.07.10 – Signs you’re dealing with Mr./Ms. Right:
0800 – #5 – Pag nag-iiba ang aura mo every time na may ginagawa siya sa iyo, kahit text lang.
0830 – #6 – Pag nagulat kayo dahil sabay kayong nag-text sa isa’t-isa.
0830 – #6 – When your sole description of this person is, “Siya na nga.”
0830 – #6 – When all your life, you were able to read minds, and all of a sudden you find one you can’t.

04.08.10 – Things that were said in the dark:
0730 – #10 – We, in the office, have a bad habit on picking (on) our dark-toned officemate. Pag may brownout we shout her name. “Nawawala” kasi siya.

04.09.10 – Ways to ruin a summer vacation:
0730 – #6 – Pag pumunta ka sa La Union to surf and either, 1. Galit na galit yung waves at bawal mag-surf, or 2. Calm yung dagat.
0800 – #4 – Pag narinig mo yung kasama mo na kamot ng kamot at magsasabi na, “Kaya ako sumama, nakakagamot daw sa buni at an-an dito sa resort.”

04.12.10 – Things you’d tell your loved one if he or she woke up with amnesia:
0700 – #1 – Guess who!?!
0730 – #8 – Mahaba talaga yan, pinaputol mo kasi kaya umikli.

04.13.10 – Creative ways to tell someone bad news:
0700 – #3 – Matagal ka ng nanliligaw sa akin. Alam mo naman na mahal na mahal din kita… bilang isang nakababatang kapatid.
0730 – #7 – Hon! After months and months of trying! Buntis ako! Salamat na lang sa best friend mo at virile pa siya.

04.14.10 – Signs the end is near:
0630 – #6 – Pag pati yung lola mo na computer illiterate, eh natuto nang mag-Facebook at text speak ang lahat ng updates niya (sa buhay).

04.16.10 – Things to say to a hater:
0630 – #9 – Huuu ang laki ng galit mo diyan sa politiko na yan, e pag face to face tameme ka naman.
0700 – #4 – PMS much? But but but… You’re a guy.

04.19.10 – Things to say to someone who blocked or unfriended you:
0630 – #10 – It’s not my loss, it’s yours.
0630 – #6 – Is this your way of breaking up with me?

04.20.10 – Ways to complete the statement: “I want ____, but i need ____.”:
0930 – #1 – I want an FX driver who can drive really fast but I need a driver who can get me to my location safe and alive.

04.23.10 – Signs you’re about to get dumped:
0630 – #7 – When she changed her relationship status, in FB, to “In A Relationship” with another guy.
0700 – #5 – Pag ang pakilala niya sa iyo sa kanyang friends ay, “Uy, this is Jay-r, my friend. Never magiging kami a.”
0700 – #5 – True story: Sabi nung nililigawan nung friend ko na kung bakit malabo siya, dahil daw ‘walang spark.’

04.26.10 – Things to say if you were caught “spanking the monkey”:
0800 – #1 – You want protein shake?

04.27.10 – Things to say to someone who’s having an affair:
0700 – #2 – Sino ba ang mas importante sa iyo, ang puso mo o ang mga anak mo?

04.28.10 – Ways to complete the sentence: “If I were a _____, I will _____.”:
0630 – #7 – If I were a girl, I will wear clothes that would suit me. If I am fat, I won’t wear low-cut jeans as it might show my butt while sitting in a restaurant.

04.29.10 – Quotes on good and evil:
0730 – #8 – For every great wealth, there’s a great eveil behind it.

04.30.10 – Slogans for a masculine wash:
0630 – #7 – Mapapa-mmmmm! Lasang strawberry! ang misis mo.
0900 – #2 – Suck… suck… an sa bango. Pramis!

MAY
05.03.10 – Worst grammatical boo-boo’s you’ve ever made:
0630 – #7 – Sa isang tabloid, pretty thieves instead of petty thieves.

05.04.10 – Answers to the question: “Can I touch it?”:
0700 – #1 – My bird? Go ahead. It is berry hairy. Go ahead and touch my bird on my chin.
0730 – #7 – Teak, hugasan ko muna…

05.06.10 – Ouch quotes:
0630 – #9 – Summer to Tom: You weren’t wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me. – from the film (500) Days of Summer.
0730 – #9 – Binabasura ng iba ang siyang pinapangarap ko. – Halaga, Parokya Ni Edgar.

05.07.10 – Things you’d like to say to our future leaders:
0800 – #3 – Do your job please! Ayaw na namin ng People Power.

05.10.10 – ???:
0730 – #6 – Don’t remove the ink till May 12. May Buy 1 Take 1 daw sa Subway. (I hope it’s true!)
0800 – #1 – Respect the vote of your peers.
0900 – #1 – Wear neutral colors when you vote. And remove election paraphernalia. Electioneering yun!

05.11.10 – Interesting quotes from your mother:
0630 – #8 – When we found out that Derek Ramsey was single, “Pwede ko nang palitan ang tatay mo. Pwede na si Derek.”
0700 – #4 – Last week I informed my mom, “Ma! Si Harry Connick yun!” Mom: “Oo nga yung si Harry, Kornik…”

05.12.10 – Reasons to get or to get rid of a pet:
0700 – #5 – Get a fighting fish if you want luck inside your home.

05.13.10 – Lessons you learned the hard way:
0630 – #7 – Don’t try to re-live a 5-year relationship. It wouldn’t work if you try it again. Same problems will just happen and again and again.

05.14.10 – Funny email or website addresses:
0630 – #8 – A former office mate has an e-mail address: naomi_emlian@yahoo.com . Read it backwards. Akala namin santo yung taong yun.
0700 – #3 – http://www.anonghugisngtitiko.com . A website meant to teach everyone the hugis of the letter O.
0730 – #8 – If ang Pinas may .PH, ang Cook Islands may .CK sa dulo. Website dun is: http://www.budget.co.ck .

05.17.10 – Answers to the question: “How big is it?”:
0700 – #2 – Well, nahihirapan akong mag-crossleg for starters.

05.19.10 – Questions to the answer “Probably!”:
0800 – #1 – Did you just fart?
0800 – #1 – Are you going to break my heart?
0800 – #1 – Am I going to win the lotto?
0800 – #1 – Maganda ba ako?

05.20.10 – Signs that someone is or has potential to be a porn star/sexy star:
0700 – #5 – When she orders her bra in the U.S. kasi wala na siyang size dito sa Pilipinas.
0700 – #5 – You find it sexy whenever she says the words “oo”, “opo”, “lolo”, or “ho ho ho”.
0730 – #6 – Kapag ultimo yung baby mo na dumedede eh lumalaki ang mata every time na makikita niya ang boobs mo.

05.21.10 – Jobs that make you a good lover:
0830 – #8 – Comedian: Kasi hindi ka niya paiiyakin.
0830 – #7 – Cowboy: Magaling mangabayo.

05.24.10 – Things to say if the object of your affection/obsession asks you: “What do you want to do to me?”:
0730 – #6 – Gusto kitang dilaan… Beh!
0930 – #7 – Ang pulbusan… o ang lotion-an ako. Kung ano man ang meron.

05.25.10 – Bitchy answers to stupid questions:
0700 – #8 – When you’re in the act of placing your used plate in the lababo and someone asks, “Kumain ka na ba?” Answer: “Ito nga kinukuha ko yung plato at ihampas ko sa ulo mo. Baka biglang mag-jumpstart siya.”
0730 – #7 – Pag nakitang basang-basa sa ulan, “Umuulan ba sa labas?” Answer: “Umuwi lang ako saglit at nakipagdilaan sa aso ko.”
0800 – #2 – A friend was asked by another friend kung ano ang ginagawa niya sa OB GYNE clinic. She answered, “Ito, dinidisplay ko lang yung keps ko sa doctor and at the same time binabayaran ko pa siya while doing it.”

05.27.10 – Signs that you’re either too young or too old:
0730 – #8 – Too young, pag binigyan mo ng weird look ang lola mo kasi nagpapabili siya ng pasador.

05.28.10 – Answers to the statement: “Help me!”:
0800 – #2 – Press F1!

JUNE
06.01.10 – Reasons why your school is cool or uncool:
1000 – #3 – My school is not cool. Kasi yung mga fraternity namin ayaw masaktan masyado pag may rambol. Masaya na silang maghampasan ng payong.

06.02.10 – Answers to the question: “Why are you unhappy?”:
0700 – #1 – I am friends with a very nega person.
0900 – #3 – For breaking my heart into a million pieces and then she made it sagasa to the pison after.

06.03.10 – Arguments for or against coming out of the closet:
0730 – #9 – Isipin mo naman muna yung kalagayan ni itay… pag namatay na lang sana siya.

06.04.10 – School ghost stories:
0700 – #2 – Sa DLSU-Main, in one building named SPS, may balita na girl na bumaba from fourth to third floor then pagbaba niya nauwi ulit siya sa fourth floor. In short, parang naging loop yung pagbaba niya ng stairs. Hinimatay daw siya and someone found her.
0700 – #1 – A friend and I watched a play in one of the UP-D campus, nag-aasaran kami nung ex ko na we’re both claiming we can feel and detect spirits. I told her sabay kaming magturo sa stage kung san yung spirit. Ayun, pareho kami ng tinuro.

06.07.10 – Quotes that annoy you:
My dad 75+ years old so ito yung nakakainis for me, “Lolo mo?” or for my mom, “Tiyuhin niyo po?”

06.08.10 – Things to say to repair a broken relationship:
0630 – #6 – Let us start this one without any promises.

06.09.10 – Messages for our future President / Vice President:
0700 – #1 – Kung may pending at workable projects si GMA, can you please continue with it?
0700 – #1 – No midnight appointments please…
0700 – #1 – Sometimes it gets boring on TV, so can you please use Kris Aquino as your press release representative?

06.10.10 – Signs that you’re not free:
0800 – #1 – Pag naka-posas ka sa kama. Tapos may busal ka. Tapos naka-undies ka lang. At nakalimutan mo yung word to release you.
0830 – #6 – Pag may suot kang cilice.

06.14.10 – Answers to the question: “Mabaho ba ko?”:
0700 – #1 – Hindi a… Panget ka lang.
1000 – #4 – Well, as a guy, it feels uneasy to smell clorox when I am near you.

06.17.10 – Lessons you learned from Chico:
0630 – #8 – I learned na hindi nakakawala sa macho status ang isang lalaki pag gumagamit siya ng male masculine wash.
0630 – #8 – 3 words: Broadway is cool.

06.18.10 – Reasons why your father is cool or uncool:
0700 – #2 – My dad is cool. He survived the Japanese occupation.
0800 – #2 – Is cool. He ate lugaw / point-point (turo-turo) with VP Binay during the Martial Law.

06.21.10 – Statements that could end a relationship:
0900 – #3 – BF to GF, “Oo nga, masarap humalik sa kapwa lalaki.”
0930 – #7 – GF to BF, “Dear… sa inyong mga magkakaibigan, ikaw ang best sex ko… ever!”

06.24.10 – Things you’d say to the man in the mirror:
0630 – #8 – Darna!
0800 – #4 – Your GF’s pink Winnie The Pooh panties suit you oh so well.

06.25.10 – Statements that can save a relationship:
0830 – #7 – Mag-usap tayo pag pareho ng malamig ang mga ulo natin.
0830 – #7 – See, I told you angry sex can fix our petty fights.

06.29.10 – Food quotes:
0700 – #3 – “Manang, masarap ba yang basang mani niyo? Medyo maalat ba? Patikim naman! Uy, medyo mapula. Pwede!”
0800 – #2 – Sa Pateros daw, pinipitik muna yung itlog bago ipakain. Chine-check kasi yung balot kung pwede na for consumption.”
0830 – #8 – In a KTV place in Jupiter, 1 of the items on the menu said, – Oriental Nachos. Eh di na-excite ako. Nung dumating, “fish crackers”.

JULY
07.06.10 – Things you’d say to someone you’ve hurt:
1000 – #3 – Parang kagat lang naman ng bubuyog yung kurot ko a. Parang kagat ni Jollibee.

07.07.10 – Reasons why you stay:
0700 – #4 – I stay friends with this certain person because she makes libre me to highfallutin’ restos.
0900 – #3 – I stay watching the Twilight movies because Jacob’s abs always give me the goosebumps.

07.08.10 – Ways to complete the statement: “Alam mo, si Chico and Delamar…”:
0800 – #3 – Alam mo si Delamar matatakutin. Buti na lang hindi niya alam na mayroon talagang lost spirit sa booth.

07.09.10 – Things to say if you bumped into an ex:
0630 – #7 – I learned a lot from you. Apparently I had the worst sex with you.
0800 – #5 – Ang sarap ng stress free relationship. Buti wala ka na sa buhay ko.
0830 – #7 – Nasabi mo na ba sa mister mo na kamukha ko yang anak ninyo?

07.13.10 – Things to tell someone who’s thinking of cheating:
– – Sakto! Kikita ka ng malaki sa gagawin mo. Buti walang pre-nup na nangyari.

07.14.10 – ???:
– – Gudam guys! Ang halay ni Basyang kagabi (around 11:30 PM). Sa lakas ng hangin, halos matanggalan ako ng shirt. Ni hindi pa naman kami nagde-date.

07.15.10 – ???:
– – Kung ang sapsap at lapu-lapu, twice inuulit ang pangalan. Anong isda ang thrice inuulit ang pangalan? 555.
– – Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side.
– – Why did the turtle also crossed the road? To get to the shell station.
– – Nung nag-Zoobic Safari kami, the bantays told us na wag maihian ng tigers. 3 weeks daw dumidikit yung panghe.

07.16.10 – Things to tell a couple thinking of breaking up:
0830 – #8 – I guess this is inevitable. Guys, don’t forget to do a reunion concert after ten years a.
0930 – #9 – May Iphone app na daw si Octopus Paul! O game! Testingin natin! Break o no break!

07.19.10 – Anime quotes:
0930 – – There are three things I refuse to tolerate: Cowardice, Military Insurrection, and… Bad haircuts. From Dragonball Z.
0930 – – From Spirited Away: Entity 1 “What’s going on here?” Entity 2 “Something you wouldn’t recognize. It’s called love.”

07.20.10 – Naughty jokes:
0930 – #9 – Did you know na mas pipiliin ni Bella si Jacob? Dog style kasi ang gusto ni Bella.

07.21.10 – Things that make you truly Pinoy:
0900 – #5 – Madali tayong kumalimot at magpatawad.

07.23.10 – Quotes on unrequited love:
0700 – #5 – Uso naman ang tanga ngayon eh.

07.28.10 – Messages for someone who is in a new relationship:
0630 – #7 – To self: Don’t mess this one up.
0700 – #4 – Wag ipilit pag hindi kasya… yung ring na regalo sa iyo. Pwede namang palitan eh.
0730 – #9 – Remember na you are counting for two na. Hindi lang ikaw ang nagde-decide sa sitwasyon.

07.29.10 – Movie titles for a movie about school:
0800 – #4 – Nang tinuhog ng pana ang agila (DLSU won over ADMU last Thursday. Peace to the Ateneans.)

07.30.10 – Ways to answer the question: “Why did you break up?”:
0630 – #7 – Vegetarian na siya e. Gusto na niya ng pechay.

AUGUST
08.02.10 – Pechay titles:
0900 – #1 – Fun with Dick and Pechay.
1000 – #6 – Kiki’s Pechay Service.

08.04.10 – Signs your crush likes you back:
0630 – #10 – When you accidentally find out that her secret email is your name.
0700 – #2 – Pag pinakopya ka niya during exams. Eh nature niya na hindi magpakopya.

08.09.10 – Titles for a movie about your thingy:
0730 – #8 – Kilometriko, Pen Is
0800 – #2 – (lasang) Salt

08.11.10 – Questions answerable by yes, no or probably:
0730 – – Are you watching Scott Pilgrim vs. The World?
0730 – – Maganda ba ako?
0730 – – Are you going to treat me to lunch?
0730 – – Are you going to sing for me?

08.12.10 – Things to say to someone who’s crying.: [Topic sender but I forgot to send my codename, I know that this is mine. =)]
0630 – #6 – Chakit?
0730 – #6 – 2 words: Petroleum Jelly.

08.16.10 – Things to say to a depressed person:
0700 – #5 – Pare, isipin mo na lang na mas matindi ang nangyari sa akin… Ay, depressed na din ako…

08.17.10 – Doctor, nurse, clinic, hospital quotes:
0730 – #10 – Ang mga doctors at male nurses good lovers, lagi silang nakatayo. (bihira ko lang silang makitang nakaupo)
0800 – #5 – “Pipitikin ko lang kung matigas.” Doctor checking patient kung may kabag siya.

08.19.10 – Quotes on love and hate:
0730 – #8 – Too much love or hate are addicting. Both can destroy you if you wouldn’t control it.

08.20.10 – Lamest excuses:
0700 – #3 – An ex kung bakit hindi siya virgin, dahil daw sa pagba-bike niya nung bata siya.
0800 – #2 – A friend’s friends GF knew that the BF cheated. She confronted him and BF said, “Wala ngang nangyari sa amin! Hindi nga tumigas eh!”

08.23.10 – Text, telephone, email bloopers:
0730 – #9 – GF jokingly asked me, “Sino si Janina?” Text ko kasi “Kasama ko janina.” instead of “Kasama ko kanina.”
0800 – #1 – A friend’s friend once texted, “Kunin mo yung penis ko dun sa may condom.” Penicillin at condominium pala.

08.24.10 – Most beautiful things someone ever told you:
0800 – #3 – “Dati kasi pangarap lang kita.” – from my GF.

08.25.10 – Answers to the question: What is the biggest mistake of your life and how did you correct it?:
0700 – #6 – By taking the board exams with I not fully ready. I fixed it by being focused and took it again.

08.26.10 – Things you miss from your childhood.:
0900 – #4 – Old-school Planetarium, Metropolitan Theater for plays, original Nayong Pilipino and Ripley’s Believe it Or Not in Shangrila.
0900 – #4 – Ang pagkamatay ni Yellow 4 sa Bioman.

08.30.10 – Reasons why the Philippines is still the place you choose to live.:
0930 – #10 – If you love foreign artists na laos na. Dito ang puntahan nila. And cheap tickets too.

08.31.10 – Things you’d say during a nude photoshoot:
0630 – #7 – Pwede bang i-gel yung mga kulot na yan? Hindi maganda yung effect eh.
0730 – #7 – Ano miss? Ayaw mong ibigay number mo sa kin kasi conservative ka? Nye!

SEPTEMBER
09.06.10 – Signs that you’re looking for love in the wrong places:
0630 – #7 – Pag nag-antay ka sa tawiran waiting for someone na makisilong sa iyo habang nakapayong ka at tatawid ka.
0630 – #6 – Pag maghapon ka sa chat-roulette waiting for someone to tell you I love you, wag lang sana na chubby guy.
0700 – #2 – Straight guy to T-bird bestfriend, “I think I am falling for you.”

09.07.10 – Tips for difficult relationships:
0630 – #10 – Sa mga ugly-beautiful couple, greater patience for the ugly one. Might hear bad things. For the pretty, security for the significant other.
0700 – #5 – For long distance relationships, hinding-hinding-hinding-hinding-hindi mainam makipag-break on the phone. Sa email gawin.

09.10.10 – Ways to answer the question: “What are you afraid of?”:
0900 – #1 – People not going to my funeral.
0900 – #1 – A local and oh-so-cheap version of Justin Bieber.
0930 – #7 – Ang hindi tumigas… ang ice cream. Hindi kasi malalagay sa apa. Uber-sad. Hay.

09.13.10 – Haikus.:
0700 – #5 – Yung bumabati. Away si Chico, wawa. Sampal ko sila.
0700 – #5 – Nakakatakot. Usong-uso ang dengue. At may lamok *pak*.
0800 – #5 – Ako akyat jeep. Lahat takip ng ilong. Ako apak ebs.
0800 – #5 – Ang saya saya. Kakanta na lang ako. Lala lalala.

09.14.10 – Fat stripper names:
0630 – #8 – Plumpelina Cruz

09.15.10 – Dear _____ Notes:
0800 – – Dear SM Megamall church goers. Please respect the church. Stop listening to your Ipod. Baka pag may hiningi ka, naka-Ipod din siya.
0800 – – Dear St. Luke’s, totoo ba ang nangyari dun sa showbiz couple kung saan nang-ipit ng pechay ni babae sa ho-hmm ng lalaki?

09.16.10 – Things to say if someone introduces their ugly partner, baby or relative:
0630 – #9 – Baby pala yang karga mo? Aabutan ko pa naman ng saging.

09.20.10 – Tindera quotes:
0630 – #9 – Nung minsan bumili ako ng 2 fake na damit at 2 box ng tsaa. The cashier said, “Fake… fake… Tea… tea… that would be all sir?

09.21.10 – Ways to complete the statement: “The difference between ___ & ___ is ___.”:
0630 – #9 – Porn and art; Breast implants.

09.22.10 – Things to say to someone who hurt you:
0700 – #1 – They say that time heals all wounds. I agree. But for now, “Buti nga sa iyo at karma mo yan!”

09.24.10 – Reasons why you get dumped:
0900 – #3 – If you are a guy and mas makapal pa ang foundation mo sa mukha.

09.27.10 – Ways to complete the statement: “If I tell you I love you…”:
0830 – #10 – Please don’t laugh.

09.28.10 – Statements that make you a loser:
0630 – #8 – Ha! I have the bestest model of iPhone in the office. Wala nga lang akong load. Pero awesome pa din ang phone ko.
0700 – #5 – Pare! Pakopya niyang Plants vs. Zombies mo a. Ilang diskette ba ang kailanga mo?
0800 – #1 – Gutom na ko. I-chicken tayo sa may MOA. sa IMAX!

09.29.10 – Quotes on jealousy or envy:
0700 – #4 – Hindi lahat ng ikinaiinggit mo ay worth it, minsan yung kinaiingitan mo sa iyo pa talaga naiinggit.

09.30.10 – Sablay english hirits:
0630 – #9 – Like duh we know homo sapiens is short for bading na nagbebenta ng kakanin. You know, homosexual sapin-sapin.
0700 – #1 – American: “I’d like to ask for some change. How may pennies do you have?” Pinoy:”Only one! But beri long. Like Mongol but patter!”

OCTOBER
10.01.10 – Answers to questions you don’t want to answer:
0630 – #9 – Bakit ang payat mo? Answer: Bakit ang panget mo?

10.04.10 – Things to say to someone who doesn’t like you:
0630 – #6 – A rattlesnake, when cornered, will be so angered it will bite itself. Like harboring hate and resentment against others mean biting itself.
0700 – #5 – Ang tindi siguro ng galit mo sa akin at sa mundo. Nakaka-cause ng extreme kapangitan ang galit eh.

10.05.10 – Ways to answer a question from a child:
0630 – #7 – Papa, ano yung demure? Ans. Parang yung kilos ng teacher mo na mala-labanos ang legs.
0630 – #7 – Papa, bakit iba yung itsura ng unicorns? Ans. Nagalit kas yung mga gumawa sa kanila. Mga kabayo din sila, yung ano nila nasa noo.

10.06.10 – Things you want to eat, pray about and love:
0700 – #5 – Eat: My mom’s adobo. Pray: Mom’s health, to be better. Love: My mom! Especially when she is giving me money.

10.08.10 – Pogi points/haba ng hair moments:
0630 – #8 – Pag guy ka, tapos nag-witwiw yung mga karpintero dahil sa ganda ng hair mo.

10.11.10 – Statements you don’t want to hear during romantic or sexy moments:
0630 – #6 – Ang taba mo pala…

10.12.10 – Ways to complete the statement: “If i were single/married…”:
0630 – #10 – If I were married, I don’t have to work anymore. I can be a bum. Bwahahaha!
0700 – #5 – If I were married, I’d need a lot of red bull, limpovitan, and cobra energy drink.

10.14.10 – Things you’ve learned from Delamar:
0700 – – I learned from Del… na it is ok to be upset at motorcycle drivers. Ganun din ako eh.

10.15.10 – Messages for motorcyclists:
0730 – #7 – Manong, your buttcrack is showing.

10.18.10 – Storm quotes:
0630 – #8 – Tulad ng kahit na anong matinding bagyo, sa bandang huli titila din yan.

10.19.10 – English statements that are hard to translate to tagalog OR Mga tagalog na pangungusap na mahirap isalin sa inggles:
0800 – #5 – Pakibili naman ako ng aratilis, lanzones, rambutan, tawa-tawa, at noni sa tindahan oh.

10.20.10 – Signs you belong:
0730 – #7 – Pag kagagaling mo lang sa week-long illness at pagdating mo sa office mayroon kang welcome back cake.
0800 – #5 – You belong to a group called Gleeks. When you talk about the latest episode of the show, Glee, every Thursday.

10.21.10 – Reasons why Pinoys make the best lovers:
0700 – #2 – Mahaba ang dila ng mga Pinoy. May mga words tayo na ginagamit na mahahaba tulad ng Nakakapagpabagabag at Lumilisan.
0700 – #1 – May Motolite kasi tayo… Pang-matagalan.
0730 – #6 – Bata pa lang trained nang tumindig ang mga Pinoy… kasi required yun sa flag ceremony.

10.22.10 – Statements that changed your life:
0730 – #9 – My mom once said, “Wala akong gagastusin ni isang kusing pag nakabuntis ka.” Ayun, mabait na ko.
0800 – #4 – “Ay, hindi kasya.” Girl told me nung hindi magkasya yung sapatos nung nagsukat ako sa may isang mall, isang araw.

10.26.10 – Things to say after someone says: “Thank you”:
0630 – #10 – Eh bakit lumalaki ang ilong mo? Wala namang lakihan ng ilong pag nagpapasalamat ka mukhang hindi galing sa puso eh.
0700 – #5 – See, it’s not that hard to say it. It feels good after saying it pa.

10.27.10 – Things you think people should know:
0630 – #10 – If you have lactose intolerance, it is all right to eat ice cream. Just eat verrrryyyy slowly.
0730 – #9 – Aside from tawa-tawa, talbos ng kamote are good for dengue patients too. And citronella can shoo mosquitos away.

10.28.10 – Things you’d write on your final Facebook status:
0830 – #6 – Ma, kung huling status ko na to, wag niyong kakalimutan ibenta yung apdo, balunbalunan, mata, at puso ko.
– – Last tweet ko na ito. Sabi kasi nung GF ko. Sa kanya lang daw yung bird ko.

10.29.10 – Funny titles for a scary movie:
0630 – #7 – I know I knew but I already forgot what you did last summer.
0700 – #1 – The Mag-exorcist tayo tuwing umaga (Tuwing umaga).
0800 – #1 – Stephen Aringkingking’s Pwet Cematary.

NOVEMBER
11.01.10 – Quotes on life and death:
0630 – #8 – Ang tao minsan parang magic lamp, hinihimas ang patay para mabuhay.
0700 – #3 – Habang buhay pa ang tao, sabihin mo na mahal mo siya. Hindi na ma-appreciate ng patay yun.
0700 – #1 – Sa burol lang talaga nagsasama-sama ang mga matatagal nang hindi nagkikita.

11.15.10 – Creative ways to say yes or no to someone who likes you:
0700 – #4 – Eh Beth ang pangalan ko at Loggins ang last name mo.
0730 – #10 – Kalalabas ko lang sa tokador eh. Sorry.
0800 – #1 – Yeeeeeeeeee… uck.

11.16.10 – Titles for Harry Potter if it were in another genre:
0800 – #3 – Nang mahawakan ni Harry ang itlog ng dragon.
0830 – #8 – Quidditch champion today, vampire tomorrow.
0900 – #3 – Albus’ bird (Pare, ang laki niyang Phoenix mo a.)
1000 – #2 – Harry Potter and the Ass ko yan man.

11.18.10 – Tourism slogans for the Philippines (or a province, or a city):
0630 – #6 – Sweet Sampaloc
0630 – #6 – Gonna go na to Laguna
0700 – #4 – HIndi ka aalis basta Zambalis
0730 – #9 – Happy and gay Baclaran
0730 – #8 – Ang oooohh ng Masbater
1000 – #1 – Sa Marinduque, malalaque ang pus… so.

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